He's at it again.

I've had a few laughs over things Carson has said or done the past few weeks, so I wanted to write them down so I don't forget.

1. When we were at home, (we did end up making it home for my aunt's funeral....thanks to many answered prayers) we stayed at my mom's house. While we were there Carson kept kicking people. (playing of course, but being very annoying.) I finally had it, and told him if I see him kick one more time he's not playing soccer anymore. To this he answered to himself (although we could all still hear him) "Fine. I guess my team will never score any goals and will never win another game." WHAT?! Pretty cocky, don't ya think? I pulled him to the other room to have a little chat about him NOT actuallybeing the best on his team, and how it's not really good to think you are better than other people, even if you excell at something. I tried to humble him a bit, and I thought I did a pretty good job until we went to his game on Saturday and guess who scored 8 goals? Yep. Wish me luck on keeping his ego down after that. Another funny story about when we were home... My mom told Carson to go wake Uncle Cole up to watch General Conference, and he said. "No thanks. He told me if I leave him alone he would play with me later." Come to find out later when Cole got up, that someone had played a few tricks on Uncle Cole around 6:30am while Uncle Cole was trying to sleep. (Tricks like putting toothpaste on Cole's forehead and balancing golf balls on is face.) I'm sure Uncle Cole was glad we came home to visit then!


2. When we were at James' parents house over the weekend, I told Carson to walk on my back and I would give him a treat. Ann (James' mom) said something about never having anybody walk on her back before. I told her to try it. I said, "Have him walk when you are on the floor, so he doesn't wobble as easily and fall on you." To which Carson replied, "I don't fall! The only time I even wobble is when I walk on my mom's back and she's in her underpants." Great. I'm sure my father-in-law appreciated that one. Just for clarification...my underpants (aka garments) are what I sleep in, and cover much more than regular "underpants" would. I promise...I really try to be modest around the kid. Yeah- I should just stop trying to explain. It really just scares the heck out of me what he's telling other people though, especially once he starts school. I'm doomed.


3. A few weeks ago Carson and McKezie were listening to a cd of silly songs my dad made them. They were choosing people in the song to be and then acting them out. A few songs in, the song "Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Yellow Polka-dot Bikini" came on. McKenzie says, I'll be the girl in the towel and swimming suit. Carson turns to me and says, "Who in the heck am I gonna be?" I told him there is only 1 person in this song, so I don't know. He then said, "Okay, I guess I'll just be the guy who sits and watches all the girls in their swimming suits then." Um...What?! Am I honestly raising a 5 year old creeper???! Come to find out, after making him explain himself, he was only talking about the life gaurd. Phew! That was a relief!


4. And yesterday, Carson ate a potato bug outside. Not to brag, or gross anyone out. No...he did it just for fun. He didn't even tell me about it. McKenzie told me later. How sick is that?! What's wrong with my children? I asked him if he thought it was crawling around inside him (since he swallowed it whole) but he explained to me that he smashed it up before he ate it to make sure it was dead first. ...good thinking buddy. I told him if he wasn't old enough to know we don't eat bugs then he wasn't old enough to have "quiet time" and would have to nap instead. He wasn't happy about that. I don't think he'll be eating any more bugs anytime soon. At least not with McKenzie around.