I am a disgusting person.

So the other night as I was laying in my bed, reflecting over the events of the day, a few experiences came to my mind that had ALL happened during that day.  As I thought of some of these things, I came to the sad realization that I have become a very disgusting person.  I don't know if it was Motherhood that changed me, because I don't always remember doing gross things, but somehow over the years, I have turned into a HUGE sick-o. 

Maybe I should share some of the things I did that day to help validate my point.

Experience #1-

I was at Wal-Mart with the two youngest girls in tow, doing a major shopping trip. I had planned carefully the time I went to get the most cooperative kids as possible. I also knew it would be a long trip, so I brought along some all-day suckers to keep them happy (and keep Morgan's latest squeel's to a minimum.  I'll be glad when that phase passes.)  I was proud of the way I was able to hold them off at Sam's Club, promising that if they were super good, I would give them each a "special surprise" when we got to Wal-mart.  When we arrived I opened the suckers, and saw the excitement pass through both of their eyes. Especially Morgan's, since I rarely give her treats.  We started down the aisle, everyone content, with our enormous grocery list.  I was surprised when moments later I  heard Morgan squeel.  I looked to see what happened as I noticed she had dropped her precious all-day sucker on the floor. On the GROSS floor, in the middle of the aisle at Wal-Mart!  What to do, what to do?  I didn't have other snacks to keep her happy, and I knew it would be torture to my ears to finish my trip and NOT give her back her sucker since she had already tasted it.  But...then I thought, how gross is that?!  I can't feed her a sucker that fell on the floor at Wal-Mart of all places!  Do you know how many germs their might be on it now?  So.... I did what any disgusting mom would do. That's right. I sacrificed my own immune system by sucking off all the germs from the sucker before handing it back to Morgan.

Experience # 2

I get home from shopping, and pick up the other kids from school. They race home, finish homework, and then head outside to enjoy some sunshine together. Meanwhile my bladder feels like it's going to explode, so I rush to the bathroom without noticing I'm all out of toilet paper. We've all been there right?  So, I yelled to the kids, but nobody heard.  I thought about waiting to air dry, but I really had a lot of stuff to do (put a zillion groceries away being the first thing!) So I looked to the little empty cardboard roll and a thought came to my mind.  Yes. THAT thought.  I wiped with the cardboard roll, and threw it in the garbage. It wasn't pleasant, but it did the trick and it really seemed to be my only choice, wasn't it??? 



Don't worry. It gets better worse.

Experience #3

After I finished putting ALL the groceries away, I decided to make myself and the kids a healthy juice from my juicer. I do this about once a day, and have come to really enjoy juicing.  Just thinking about all the vegetables and fruits I'm getting in one setting makes me smile. Anyway- it's not super cheap to juice, which is why I do it only once a day.  Anyway- I get out the fresh Spinach, Kale, carrots, cucumber, lemon, apple, ginger root, and a handful of grapes.  I prepare the juicer and get out a few little cups to fill for the kids. I juice it once, and then re-juice the pulp to make sure I'm getting the most for my buck. Then I pour it into the plastic tumblers and head outside to give it to the kids. As I get back, I decide I should clean the juicer before I sit down to enjoy my 12-14 ounces of healthy, delicious juice.  (Oh...before I go on......let me just say in my defense that I had JUST sanitized the whole kitchen counter after putting the groceries away.) Anyway, I reach across the sink for a dish towel to dry my juicer when suddenly my elbow knocks my entire cup of juice over on the counter top.  My heart sunk. All that produce! All that money! All that TIME! Down the drain?! I thought for a few moments of how I could still get it back into the cup, but besides cleaning it with a rag and wringing it back into the cup (which I DIDN'T do) I came up with nothing. So....this is where I get gross.  I do the next best thing. I grabbed a straw from the drawer, and started sucking it down like a vacuum, straight from the counter.. It took me a good 10 minutes to suck it up. I got a lot of air, but I got most of it up and let little go to waste! At least I can be proud of that!
 

 
  Please tell me I'm not the ONLY disgusting mother out there?!